Nuclear Weirdmageddon
by ARZARNAR
Summary: "There is another way to defeat Bill!" What if that other way...was Nuclear Weirdmageddon. Yes, Bill may be defeated but at what cost? First fanfic,YAY! Constructive criticism welcome.


Stan Pines just couldn't abandon his family to the Weirdmageddon…could he? As soon as Stan saw the huge portal and coming apocalypse he knew where to go. Running as fast as his old legs could carry him, Stan dived into the portal room. The entrance was sealed before another weirdness wave could do anything to Ford's equipment.

4 days later...

"Arrgh, really? The most advanced bunker Ford built and there's no food generator?" Stan was talking to himself again.

The supplies had run dry and Stan was forced to make a decision, starve and die or try to do **SOMETHING.** Another look around the bunker proved to be in vain, there as nothing. Stan sat down in defeat on a small console, accidentally pressing a light switch. A board of buttons lit up and a small black notebook flipped open.

In the notebook was written: "If you have stumbled upon this, you hold may hold the fate of the world in your hands. The buttons on the board to your left are buttons to activate a backup plan, a plan called **Project: Fate of Man**. Is that cheesy? If so, please use a pen to scribble that out and replace it. But I digress. The backup plan involves detonating a thermonuclear bomb to attempt to destabilize any rift that may or may not have opened up above Gravity Falls. If an alternate dimension has let loose a demon of unimaginable power, save the world years of suffering. **BRING THAT PORTAL DOWN.** "

"Well, I guess that seals the deal. If I can't do anything myself, at least Ford's sci-fi stuff can let him die a martyr. If only there was somone other than my probably deceased already brother that knew how to work this type of stuff," Stan thought aloud.

* * *

On the surface, a tired Dipper sat next to his recently rescued sister.

"Ok, we all got supplies?" asked Dipper.

The group all nodded.

"Good, so we need to head to Gruncle Ford's bunker under the Mystery Shack. There is where we can hold out until I figure a way to defeat Bill,"

"Do you think we will see Gruncle Stan?" Mabel asked in her usual optimistic voice.

"Probably not. Either he is dead or lost in the woods,"

Soos immediately got up and ran into the woods shouting " Mr. Pines? Mr. Pines, are you there?"

"Well, that escalated quickly. We better get going to the Shack before some huge monster finds us and tears our limbs off. Then turns us into human flesh goop to feed to his kids and stuff,"

Both Dipper and Wendy stared at Mabel.

"What? C'mon, that would probably happen...right?"

Wendy stood up and walked in the direction of the Mystery Shack.

"We better get going."

* * *

Stan was flipping through the black notebook, trying to see if there were better instructions than "Blow up Gravity Falls".

He was just about to slam his palm on the whole board when there came the sound of the elevator.

"Finally, someone is here to rescue me! Or here to kill me. Maybe I should bash their brains in for food...good idea!"

Stan picked up a discarded piece of metal, readying himself to kill whatever came through that door.

*Ding*

To Stan's surprise, Mabel, Dipper and Wendy stood In the elevator ready to kill him. Stan lowered his weapon at the same time the others lowered their wooden sticks.

"Gruncle Stan?" the twins said in unison.

"Yep, it's me. Your old Gruncle, cowering in fear as the world ends."

"Now I fell like a girl scout or something. Bringing cookies and other stuff to an old man," Wendy said.

"You have cookies?" Stan asked instantly, "What flavor and how many. If there is double chocolate then I will take a packet of that."

Wendy reached into her bad and threw a packed of cookies at Stan. All of them walked down to the "nuke board"

"This, ladies and gentlemen, is the solution to that huge portal thing that is causing all this chaos."

Dipper was interested and inquired further, "How does it work?"

"Well my boy, that is for you to find out," Stan handed Dipper the notebook, "This should give you all you need to know."

Dipper flicked through the notebook, barely reading the pages. He grabbed his UV light pen and re-read the first page.

"So? What does it say, bro bro?"

"Umm," Dipper walked over to the buttons, "Here goes nothing."

Dipper fiddled with the controls on the board while Wendy and Mabel placed bets to whether Dipper would fail or succeed. Stan sat in a corner eating his cookies, silently betting himself who would win the bet.

"Got it!"

A large red button appeared on the board.

"If this will stop Bill, I have to take the chance."

Dipper reached for the button... At the moment Dipper had felt the cold of the launch button Soos burst in.

"Dudes! I finally found you!"

The sudden entrance and shouting of Soos made Dipper flinch. He slammed his hand down onto the launch button.

"5..."

"Soos!"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"4..."

"CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!"

The door slides shut.

"3..."

"Duck and cover guys!"

Wendy and Mabel hid under a desk, Soos Dived into a closet and Stan lied face down on the floor.

"2..."

"What have I done?" Dipper thought to himself, "Everyone in gravity falls will die."

"1..."

Dipper dived under the desk with Mabel and Wendy.

"Launch initiated"

* * *

Bill Cipher looked out onto the ruins of Gravity Falls. He watched the sun go down on his new empire. As he watched the sunset he saw a fire work. Bill focused on the firework as it approached the portal. He realized it wasn't a firework...

"Is that a thermonucl..."

A huge bright flash erupted on the horizon.

Bill watched in terror as the portal imploded. He could feel his power draining away. He was stuck in his physical form.

The shock wave reached his fortress not a second later.

 **THOOMB**

Bill watched on as a fireball rushed forth. Ignoring the ringing sound, he stood there accepting his fate... In one last effort to take humanity with him, Bill exerted the last of his energy onto the politicians of the world.

"The world is coming with me! This plan is M.A.D!"

The fireball hit him, instantly burning away at his form. Bill and his companions were atomized by nuclear fire. The worst invention of mankind had taken effect, Gravity Falls was left a smoking pile of ruins and burnt bodies. The people who were inside secure buildings were lucky. The bodies of the monsters and human population littered the ground. The forests surrounding the town where on fire, making huge columns of smoke rise.

* * *

The people in surrounding towns wouldn't ignore this.


End file.
